this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.