She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?