They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?