Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
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I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.