He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....