He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....