Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"