My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...