My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...