I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.