Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay