Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay