After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.