george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?