Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.