At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice