hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"