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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
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