i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation