Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.