This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.