This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.