Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.