I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"