he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.