Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
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I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it