You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter