I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper