Last Night in California (559)

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• (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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• (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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• (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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• (559): View more from California

  i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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• (559): View more from California

  Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE

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• (559): View more from California

  i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...

  (559): View more from California

  ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!

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• (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

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• (707): View more from California

  I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

  (559): View more from California

  sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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• (559): View more from California

  You realize it's finals week?

  (408): View more from California

  Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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• (559): View more from California

  can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.

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• (559): View more from California

  You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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• (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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• (559): View more from California

  my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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• (559): View more from California

  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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