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I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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