I queefed so loud it echoed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"