FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
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If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina