Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (856)

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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  (856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on http://tfl.nu/74a4
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

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  (856): I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy. http://tfl.nu/827v
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.

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  (856): I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud. http://tfl.nu/70be
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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  (856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed

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  (856): the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed http://tfl.nu/39rg
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  she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done

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  (856): she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done http://tfl.nu/rbbz
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  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

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  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge

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  (856): dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge http://tfl.nu/cto3
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  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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  (856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.

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  (856): 2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over. http://tfl.nu/sc8m
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  Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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  (856): Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing. http://tfl.nu/px2y
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  When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.

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  (856): When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'. http://tfl.nu/va9k
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  my self respect just called, its having a good time without me

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  (856): my self respect just called, its having a good time without me http://tfl.nu/iprn
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