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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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