1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.