Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Puerto Rico (787)

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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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  (787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo
  Replies (17) Good night (1173) Bad night (7027)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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  (787): She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work. http://tfl.nu/8rxz
  Replies (39) Good night (852) Bad night (4186) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men

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  (787): He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men http://tfl.nu/yhmj
  Replies (13) Good night (2044) Bad night (3063) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  No, it just says ur easy

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  (954): Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead? (787): No, it just says ur easy http://tfl.nu/6cbn
  Replies (22) Good night (920) Bad night (1540)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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  (787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo
  Replies (8) Good night (594) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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  (787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7
  Replies (4) Good night (3272) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4463) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2238) Bad night (973)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

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  (787): I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth. http://tfl.nu/to4d
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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  (787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement

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  (787): I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement http://tfl.nu/yxd8
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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  (787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure

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  (787): I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure http://tfl.nu/bq2q
  Replies (2) Good night (195) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.

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  (787): The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared. http://tfl.nu/3l2w
  Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt