I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow