the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.