You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.