Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.