I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!