You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.