Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill