Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (707)

Last Night in California (707)

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(707): View more from California

You rang?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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(707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm

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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.

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(707): drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius. http://tfl.nu/e6s0

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It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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(707): It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know. http://tfl.nu/9rsw

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Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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(707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299

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She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.

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(707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4

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(707): View more from California

Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.

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(707): Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand. http://tfl.nu/dp2x

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New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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(707): New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice http://tfl.nu/6azx

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is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh

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I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once

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(707): I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once http://tfl.nu/s42e

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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.

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(707): We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/2c0b

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They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

(705): View more from Ontario

I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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(707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19

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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

(1-707): View more from California

You did like 8

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(707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots (1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9

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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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(707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f

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Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick

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(707): Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick http://tfl.nu/qfj7

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(707): View more from California

I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.

(1-707): View more from California

Put down the everclear and go to bed.

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(707): I kinda wanna eat your hands right now. (1-707): Put down the everclear and go to bed. http://tfl.nu/rmaf

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Last Night in California (707)

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