Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (623)

Last Night in Arizona (623)

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So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

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What did she do!?

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I didn't tell her...

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(602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351

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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts

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You mean Doughnuts?

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......No :(

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(602): I just woke up to me licking the dognuts (623): You mean Doughnuts? (602): ......No :( http://tfl.nu/8azm

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Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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(623): Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth? http://tfl.nu/7zio

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Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

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(623): Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/vksk

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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.

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(623): I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite. http://tfl.nu/mkl5

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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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(623): Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy. http://tfl.nu/cg4z

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Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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(623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt

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Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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(623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w

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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.

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(623): It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too. http://tfl.nu/xu8j

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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.

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(623): Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth. http://tfl.nu/v51o

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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..

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(623): its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything.. http://tfl.nu/87ir

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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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(623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux

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Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

Um.. is it mean if I say yes?

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How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"

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(623): Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years? (1-623): Um.. is it mean if I say yes? (623): How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?" http://tfl.nu/602v

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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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(623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz

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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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(623): He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out. http://tfl.nu/ixyd

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Last Night in Arizona (623)

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