That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon