At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.