she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.