Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (541)

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.

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  (541): Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me. http://tfl.nu/hakv
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  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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  (541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde
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  Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face

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  (541): Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face http://tfl.nu/zdd8
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  You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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  (541): You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday. http://tfl.nu/xakl
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (928)
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  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

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  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (647)
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  I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue

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  (541): I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue http://tfl.nu/me08
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  THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS

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  (541): THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS http://tfl.nu/c3uu
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  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
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  I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

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  (541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
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  When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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  (541): When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party? http://tfl.nu/4whz
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  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (448) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that

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  (541): She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that http://tfl.nu/pcsr
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  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

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  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
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  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
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  Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.

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  (541): Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/gw56
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