How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.