This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy