I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate