HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.