Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.