I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.