Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?