tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.