They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Operation Purity has been aborted
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.