I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit