Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Connecticut (203)

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  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
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  I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads

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  Like Teddy Roosevelt

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  (203): I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads (1-203): Like Teddy Roosevelt http://tfl.nu/jrby
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  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
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  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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  (203): I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight. http://tfl.nu/nwmv
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  Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!

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  (203): Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling! http://tfl.nu/pnvd
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  She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.

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  (203): She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to. http://tfl.nu/ivcq
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  Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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  (203): Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day http://tfl.nu/dgax
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  I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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  (203): I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest. http://tfl.nu/16wx
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  The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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  (203): The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad http://tfl.nu/q1tx
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  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
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  Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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  (203): Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home http://tfl.nu/rxky
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  Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses

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  (203): Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses http://tfl.nu/2wtf
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  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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  (203): He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted. http://tfl.nu/pbp0
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  i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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  (203): i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid http://tfl.nu/ekmu
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  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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  (203): Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka. http://tfl.nu/23cb
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