He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.