yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime