I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.