She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.