Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.